A slightest Grin

As times a pass
pain settles in

upon a face
a slightest grin

and of the boys
answer a loss

should I of now
be all they got

a loss of space
within a head

sleepless a night
when a head should rest

work in a motion
problems felt

answers a present
at times not set

upon a rose
eyes are a fixed

blooming or dying
you I a miss

What am I to you we do?

When all they do is turn to you
When life just isn’t done with you
When all they want is more from you
When when they struggle turn to you
When all your words to them are true
and when in doubt your head they screw

They turn to you and have no clue
of what life has not offered you
at times of stress they turn to you
and when in trouble solve you do
So what you think a man should do?
When on his shoulders add they do
and of his loss they have no clue

And even with those who you know knew
they treat you like they own you too
advice they true do offer you
but they know not what your going thru
at least you hope they have no clue
cause if they do then they not truly care for you
and are just out to screw you too

So here is what I say to you
you think you know what I’ve been through?
you think you feel what I know do?
now take a mirror look at you
you know you havn’t got a clue
that to my own I’ve stuck like glue
and what hurts you now hurts me to

and do I do what I must do
and when I am week I turn to who?
I turn to me that’s what I do
and solve the wrongs from me and you
for that is what I am born to do
and do I do what I must do
for in the end its all for you

So add more shit to what I am going through
I care for you and think of you
like all I do for all them true
so wake in pain now that I do
and think of urges that are true
and of each day that I pass through
I try to be here for each of you
Like I was there for each of you

So what I say a man should do?
when piles of bricks they add on you
and carry all they bring to do
and cast a smile to all I do
so answers to questions I have no clue
but yes I know I do miss you

Decipher not what I write you
and feel not the pain I am going through
cause I just wouldn’t want u to
for I know I live it without you
mercy be upon me and you
mercy be on all of you

For all of this you put us through
so fine I do yes respect you
but why the hell do what you do
and leave us torn without a clue
when of our life, we give to you
and do what u want us to do
respect I do but I question you
for all this that you put me through

I passed the test and answered you
as most you hurt are to you true
And unconditionaly follow you
so tell me why you do what you do?
when all we have done is repect you
I turned to you and turn to you
now you must follow throu

In fairness now I turn to you
you tell me what am I to do?
you tell me what am I to do?
you tell me what am I to do?

WRITE

Write I must with all my strength
hard as it is I write for the benefit of my own health

For if I don’t I will explode
or even worse I might implode

See drugs for me won’t cure my stress
nor a thousand mile run clear my mess

For I am void and can’t be filled
did in your loss loose I my will?

To serve and protect all those I must
have all my strenght in a moment been crushed?

I know not what is for me in store
with you never knocking on my door

When my phone rings it won’t be you
when my email comes in there is nothing from you

When I walk the halls I don’t hear your voice
and I can’t complain about all your noise

So bottom line I am not fine
I write to you my tears in a line

I miss you and I want you back
write you said but pain and tears my soul attack

for every second I think of you
my body aches and cries for you

I miss you more than I miss my strength
I miss you more than this earths length

I miss you more than words can possibly say
and the hardest part is it gets harder everyday

I write to you, I cry to you
I talk to you, and now I know I just miss you

Your smile your cry
your voice and sigh

The way you used to call my name
your hugs that took away my pain

Your love for life and everything in it
and everything you said you went and did it

I get it I finally do
I miss my sister oh baby how much I miss you

For those who suffered loss

Of all the things that people boast
Of all the health and happiness that people toast

Of all the things that you detest
Of all the rage we won’t confess

Of all the things that are said each day
Of every breath of every word we say

Of endless rivers cries our souls
I now fear my death most of all

Not fear of death in and of itself
For I also fear being in ill health

For this brings pain to those who make me whole
My mother and father my sisters and brother my wife and my girls my boys on this earth, to them all

For if I wish for just one wish for those who care and need me most
I wish my death to not me come except after you all

for those of you who have suffered loss
this ones for you for you of what I right must know

Safe

for endless pain upon my chest upon my bed i do not rest
i twist and turn as does my soul with rage uncaged unseen to all
i hide my pain from most myself for i can’t bare the consequence
of actions that have not been done of which i know can’t be undone
upon your picture rest my eyes with dried up tears my sorrow lies
more poison willfully i consume a slowing death i now assume
regretfully with every drag of loosing days i can’t get back
with building pressure pushing down i fear i cannot hold my ground
i try i do for what its worth for those who need me on this earth
for worthless i can become with inner strength i must be one
i tell you this to get it out and in the end i have no doubt
that i will rise above the storm and strength of blow I must hold strong
i’ve never ever failed you before and as you now rest i must do more
for you have taught me what is strength your pride in me i will not contend
with a heart of steal and face filled smile with all you’ve lived a head held high
for you my love i hold my course with all you’ve done i hold your course
i do it all without regret a selfless being i must become and learn from you my loving one
for all your days were lived for us and never done with a single fuss
in silence you have done it all outspoken yes to hold the fort
you held your ground and you were strong when you were week you made us strong
i tell you this of which you know i hold your ground i’ll watch them grow
of all the promises of all you wish as a part of me i tell you this
rest dear sister wherever you may be
for all is safe now here with me

Quicky 1

Take it all in with dedication and devotion
Even if all you're doing is going through the motion

6th Sense

Is there such a thing as a sixth sense?
Can our kids really feel when we are tense?

Even if we hide it all inside and wear a handsome grin.
Can they truly tell the never-ending pain of holding up our chin?

When all we want to do is sulk and fold like were back in our mother’s womb
There is no return once the moth has broken from its own cacoon

As beautiful as beauty described graceful floating like a butterfly...

My # 5

I still call occasionally I know your line is dead
U have always been on my speed dial
Number 5 engraved in my head

U have always been my number 5
Center of my phone center of my heart
You will always be my number 5
U will always be on my speed dial

So dial and try until I cry you are my number 5 until I die....

Struggle

We struggle each and everyday
We struggle each in a different way

Some struggle just to make a penny
Some struggle just to keep their many

Some struggle not just for the cash
Some struggle due to system clash

Some struggle for the struggle of others
Some struggle to win the heart of lovers

All struggles have a common trait
All struggles leave us at the gate

We live our life in struggles many
We leave this life, no struggle no penny

Struggle

We struggle each and everyday
We struggle each in a different way

Some struggle just to make a penny
Some struggle just to keep their many

Some struggle not just for the cash
Some struggle due to system clash

Some struggle for the struggle of others
Some struggle to win the heart of lovers

All struggles have a common trait
All struggles leave us at the gate

We live our life in struggles many
We leave this life, no struggle no penny